#RealMotherhoodMoments- What the 4th Trimester Really Felt Like II

I mentioned earlier that the two groups of stories I didn’t want, were the ‘motherhood and life in general is such a breeze-illusion of perfection’ group, and ‘motherhood is horrible, don’t do it’ group.

All of our stories are different. And this season reveals a part of you, you most likely would not even know ever existed. But Grace. Grace has and will always be the wind beneath our wings.

My hope for every reader of this story is that you can be the shoulder to another. Mother or not. The power of prayer and intercession is so crucial. You’ll never know what someone’s battles truly are, until you walk in their shoes. But sometimes, you really don’t have to know all the details. Bearing one another up goes a really really long way!

And with this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

Ephesians 6:18b

Till I entered the fourth trimester, I had never heard of the term insert gasp
As a practicing medical doctor who studied some OnG one would think i would know of this period and have prepared for it. But sadly that was not the case. I knew of pueperium and had an idea of timelines. I prepared for pregnancy labour and delivery. I ate right, exercised prayed for a supernatural child birth.

BUT, nothing prepared me for the 4th trimester.

I had a difficult post partum period of darkness, health challenges and tears.
During delivery of my small 3.5kg baby, i sustained perineal tears, and had an episiotomy. After the epidural came out, pain washed over me like a blanket and that pain lasted for month (as i type this i have pain in my right hand but we will get to that)

I got discharged the day after delivery like everyone else on oral paracetamol.
Went home, and I was in a world of pain.
Pain was not going away despite sitz baths and analgesia. After a week the pain was crazy, i could barely walk or sit. I called my gynae and scheduled a visit. I went in and he said the episiotomy wound was overlapping and he needed to take it apart and redo it. There was so much swelling he asked to do it in a week. Fast forward to the sunday we had agreed on, I got the repair with a lot of pain and suffering because it was done under local anaestheisa but the block didn’t quiet work as it should have. 2 weeks post partum and here I was- back at the beginning.

Now in the two weeks the paracetamol alone wasn’t working so I had been given diclofenac and cocodamol.
I reacted so badly to both that in the end all i could take for pain was paracetamol, and that was basically of no use- at all. The cocodamol got me constipated and my pregnancy induced haemorrhoids prolapsed. My perineum was on fire constantly. Everything hurt. Even lying down. The first one month after having my baby is all a painful blur, because I was drowsy from the analgesia (medication that acts to relieve pain) and the sleep deprivation. Then sitting became painful and it turned out i had a condition called pudendal neuralgia.

And THEN there was the emotional aspect of dealing with external stress from my fave MIL. Sadly, my darling husband was not supportive. The pressure and darkness of the fourth trimeseter was real. I developed post partum de Quervains tenosynovitis in both wrists and nearly dropped my baby several times.

What I will surely say is- God was, is, and forever will be faithful.
He came through in more ways than one.
Firstly i had a ton of breastmilk; the milk would squirt all over my baby’s face. Every new mother worries about being able to feed her baby and that part was a breeze for me. He latched on like a pro and the milk was in abundance.

Secondly God sent angels my way, sister, friends all over the world who brought food visited, and prayed. I’m writing this blog post because of one of those angels who prayed with me during my dark times and let me be able to talk about what i was going through and she understood.

Thirdly I never got mastitis.

About 10 weeks after my baby had been born, i could finally sit for a few hours without pain and with lots of prayers tears and open conversations, things started to shape up. We named our son and slowly we got back to being a happy couple.
I look back at my son’s new born shoots and i dont recognize the baby in the photos, but im glad we did the shoot.

In all this I’ve experienced God’s Grace for this new season, and I know that he is always with me no matter what.

To anyone reading this going through a dark time, chin up, pray ,cry, ask for help and talk openly to your spouse and to God. You are loved much more than you know. This too will pass.

Signed a first time mom who is still trusting God and winging it.